OTL

Hello hello! It's been a while since I last logged on... orz.

My life has been pretty uneventful; I started school about a month ago (so early!!) so I guess you could say I've been somewhat busy. I adapted to the new school, so yay~ ;w;. I do, however, miss my old friends... But hey, I'm glad I was able to make new friends! So far, I'm getting good grades; let's see if I can keep this up! I'm planning to join FBLA and NHS... Let's see how well I do~

I've also made a LINE Play account; does anyone here play? ;w;. If so, tell me! I want more friends. (ＴДＴ) . I'm addicted to Poko Pang for LINE; I'm trying to beat all the monsters. Seriously though, is anyone else addicted to these or is it just me!?

I think that's about all there is to life right now... I'll try to make more posts, but I'm not really a man to my word lol.

Summer!

I officially completed freshman year - alive and well intact! :D. Well technically, I completed it on the 23rd (24th really because of testing) but who cares about the details? xD;. I must say, this entire year went far too fast for me; I didn't realize it was the end of the school year until a week before it ended! Overall, it was... Pretty... Normal? A tad-bit emotional? I don't know, it ended on a good note~

I'm moving, so I always visualized that the last day of school would be tear worthy; I mean, I'm leaving the friends I've known for years to go to some new city hours away from here. Yet when the day finally came, I was surprised to have shed no tears whatsoever. However, I am guilty of crying the second day of the last week... orz.

I'm getting everything packed and well... I don't want to do this. TT TT. Too much effort! I'd rather just keep everything at my house. ;-;. It's a bit weird though; soon, I won't be calling my house a house of my own. It'll be some stranger's house. And... That's too odd for comfort. Oh well, I guess we all have to step out of our comfort zone sooner or later...

Racism

I cannot stress how much I abhor racism. For some reason, I always run into a racist slur/comment. It honestly doesn't bother me that much, but I just don't get it - why do people feel the need to whirl silly comments like that? It makes no sense! Throughout my entire life, I've always been targeted with racial slurs, but only four stuck out. I'm a Chinese-American citizen who has always tried my best to be viewed as "good" in the eyes of adults - ie., offered to fix an elderly woman's phone once when I was walking home from school, hold doors open for elders, greet people in general with a smile and a "hello", that stuff. I don't see why such comments are necessary; I'm only fifteen! TT_TT. Here, let's elaborate more on the four racist comments I'll never forget...

1. I grew up with Harry Potter. It's my favourite series, so it was natural for me to go along with my sister to the releasing of the seventh and final book. At that time I was... In third or fourth grade? Anyways, the night was perfect. I was able to play around at the stands, get my own pair of the beloved glasses, and even got a tattoo made specifically for the final book! Filled with excitement and on a rush, I wandered over to a stand that fit quite snugly between two far apart book cases. It was the stand that would complete my wizard (or perhaps I should be saying witch) look - you could make wands out of pencils! The lady who watched over the stand gave another child and I an un-sharpened pencil and let us choose from the decorations laid out on the table. I twirled a single pink pipe cleaner onto it, then proceeded to glue about three stars onto it. Before I could even finish however, the lady stated, "I think you've had enough." and kind of just... Pushed me away from the stand. LOL. I ended up just leaving, embarrassed, to find my sister and her friend.

2. I was in eighth grade (so... 13/14 years old?) and was at the mall with my mom. We were shopping at Kohl's, and well, I wanted to look at my clothes instead of hers. I walked over to the teen's section and everything is dandy. Out of nowhere, a family of three (a mother, daughter, and son) show up a few feet away. I minded my own business and kept looking at the clothing rack in front of me. People, please note - just because someone is not paying attention does not necessarily mean they will not hear your snide comments. Out of the corner of my ear I hear the mother say, "Don't look at her. She's dangerous." Followed by her hushing her kids when they asked why. Needless to say I walked away in shame to find my mother.

3. I'm not allowed to go out much. Well... I wouldn't say I'm not allowed, just that I can never get a ride. One time, I was finally able to have my mother take me to the library to meet up with my friends in eighth grade! I entered the library, excited to go upstairs to find my friends. Before I could even go however, I ran into yet again, another family, this time maybe of four or five, including the mom. I smiled at them and waved, only to be greeted with, "Don't make eye contact, she's evil!" from the mother. Déjà vu much?

And finally, the fourth and final one...

4. I'm a high schooler this year - fifteen! A few weeks ago, my old middle school was trying to get donations for Relay for Life, a night where you show cancer up by basically saying that we'll (Cancer survivors/people who have it now/family members and friends/etc) never let it win, so the middle schoolers were going door-to-door trying to get people to donate. A pair of siblings, one looking like a seventh grader and the other looking like either a really short eighth grader or another seventh grader, came to my house. Unfortunately, I didn't have any money, so I had to refuse. Before I could close the door, the older one did the whole "cough(insert insult here)cough" thing. What did he say?
"coughCHINKcough!"
His brother had that, "YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT WHY ARE YOU SO COOL" expression, while the brat who called me that was laughing his butt off. -____-.

Of course, there are other times where people picked on me because of my race. For example, I was walking home from school one day in eighth grade and this group of seventh (or even sixth graders!) came up to me and asked if I knew how to speak "Ching chong ling long", if my eyes were just naturally small, and a bunch of other things. I try not to let these get to me, because in all honesty, they don't. But at the same time I just feel so embarrassed about my ethnicity that I just wanted to run home and barricade myself in my room.

To all the racist people I'll ever meet in my life:

And to the group of seventh graders who made fun of me this year and in eighth grade for being Chinese:

I like my small eyes thank you very much. Yes, even with that triple eye lid. Now you boys can all run along and go play whatever little kids play these days, or you can open up a book and learn how to respect your elders.

Crushes

Sometimes, a crush works out. You two get together, last longer than average, and then you get married. For some, you might be that model couple - the couple that everyone wants to be: indestructible, together, and happy. The love is reciprocated and all of a sudden, you get a happily ever after - just like the fairy tales.

The other times however, a crush just crashes and burns before you can even attempt it. You find some dreamy figure that catches your eye (and sometimes for as long as four years) and you just... Follow them the rest of the time until they notice. They might even be your closest friend, or some kid you exchanged two words with in the hall! The point is, they become the one thing you obsess about - every greeting, every exchange, every single interaction with them starts to be mulled over constantly, analyzing the little details that you may have missed. Those exchanges become the "star" moments in your life; I mean, you talked to the person that keeps attracting your eyes! And right before you can act and break the ice... They find someone they're attracted to. And it sucks when you see them doing the same exact thing that you're doing to them. You want to tell them to stop, but at the same time, you want them to be happy, right? You're caught in this game of feeling hurt and letting them be happy, and ruining it for them altogether and feel happy, but have them be hurt. What hurts more though? Having to watch their love be returned and seeing a new couple form, knowing that they are happier with each other as opposed as them being with you. Thinking, "Oh, I have this amazing chance!" when in reality... You never had one to begin with.

Allow me to share a story. Just like every other girl, I've liked a guy... Albeit longer than the norm (see above). We're pretty good friends - rather, he's one of my closest. He amuses me with everything he does. There were times when I thought, "Maybe he might just like me; he surely acts like it!" only to have that feeling refuted when I see him talk to a certain girl. I can't insult the girl, nor can I particularly praise her; my feelings for her are very neutral after all-- well, not really. If I had to be genuinely honest, I don't like her. Alas, that is how a teenage girl feels towards any girl that gets along with her crush, no? Anyways... Four years. It's funny how my feelings held out for so long. In those fours years, I've never once done anything to show him that I did like him (but he did find out two years ago due to certain circumstances). Shows just how much I'm afraid of rejection, huh? After I publish this post, I'm done. He can be happy with her and be that model couple that I mentioned earlier. He's a sweet guy; it's such a shame he never felt even a tiny bit of what I felt for him.

You know how they say that if you truly like something, then let go? HOW. I've always wondered how people would let go of something they loved and cherished so easily. Surely it was hard for them, but how can they simply... Just let go and watch the other be happy with another person? I commend the people who can do that, and still keep a smile on their face. //cue round of applause.

What I wanted to do was to post this on to my blog and actually give up on him; I even stated that before, too. But... I tend to go back on my word concerning him. Chances of me actually giving up? Slim. Most likely... I'll keep liking him until I move in a few months, and if I'm lucky, it all ends there. If I'm not? Well... Time to sort out my priorities.

To all the people in the same position as me... Good luck. It hurts to have to watch them, and to realize that they probably never felt the same. Whether you choose to be a stubborn person like me or not, you'll still get a happy ending - maybe not with the person you envision, but hey, we can dream.

School~

Spring break is almost here~~ Just one more week (better yet, a four day week), and I'm off! Man, freshman year has gone by so fast... I remember how I was so worried about high school when I was in middle school and now look at me. Still a bit worried but not as much. LOL.

This school year has honestly, been one of my better years. Yes, I probably spent half of the year moping about certain problems, but the other half was exciting! I made new friends, and also became better friends with the old ones. ;w;. Speaking of new friends, I feel like a majority of the ones I made were teachers... LOL. All of them just kind of... Picked me as their favourite, aha. When they found out I was moving to a different city, they were all genuinely sad about it, and one of them even tried to make me stay. LOL. I'm glad all of my teachers like me, especially my "scary" English teacher. I had a lot of scares though... I was so close to getting a C in my English class. TT__TT. Thankfully I was able to save it and make it a B! I blame Cambridge for getting rid of the AP programs at my school. Originally, my Math, English, Biology, and History classes were supposed to be AP classes, but my school adopted a new program called Cambridge that basically abolished AP classes as core classes to make the students "equal." ;-;;. I'm not entirely sure how this will work out at my new school though... They require me to take at least two AP classes in order to graduate... Among other things. It shouldn't be too hard, but I just wish my school didn't make, in my opinion, such a daft choice on bringing the Cambridge program to our school. I wouldn't have had to waste this entire year!

ONLY THREE MORE MONTHS. THREE MORE MONTHS AND FRESHMAN YEAR WILL BE OVER.

G&G GBT Sky Review

Sorry, I didn't notice that the camera didn't focus properly. : (.

Hello everyone~ Back with another review! This time I'll be reviewing Dueba's G&G GBT Sky circle lenses that I bought from Pinky paradise. All photos were taken in my room, hence the bright white light.

Specs

Diameter: 14.0mm

Water Content: 38%

Base Curve: 8.6mm

Type: 1 year disposal

Service
This is the second time I've actually bought something from that website, and so far, I like it~ I got the registered shipping, so the package came in fourteen days (From January 27th to February 14th, excluding weekends). I believe the last time I ordered about a year ago it also came in the same time frame.  I was a bit surprised about how it was delivered though; I remember last time the package would be brought to my doorstep but instead, it was put in my mailbox... Then again, the package was sent via Fedex, not USPS, aha. I wonder why it changed... It came wrapped in pink cellophane...? If that's the right word. The bottles were wrapped about twice and then taped off to ensure that it would break during shipping. It's very safe and definitely needed. : ). If the customer service hasn't changed, then I can assure you that it is amazing. I remember last time I entered in coupon deal and after I hit the place order button I was scared that I had done it wrong. I emailed them and they responded as soon as they could (I placed the order on Saturday/Sunday so I had to wait a day or two for them to respond). They checked my order and voila, I was set. Not much to complain for from their website, to be honest. They are the first circle lens website I've ever bought from, and they will always hold a special place in my heart.

Colour
The colour isn't really that vibrant. If you're looking for contacts that are like "BOOM" in your face, then these aren't the ones for you. Rather, they give a slight tinge of colour, but out in the sun, it really isn't that noticeable. I wore them out for one day and only one person could tell I was wearing them, aha. If you are looking for the type of lenses that don't stand out and can change the colour of your eyes slightly, these are for you!

Design
Pretty... Normal? xDD. I mean, they definitely aren't like the Princess Mimi series - far from it. No giant, black limbal ring. Just... Normal 14.0mm contacts. They don't provide a major halo effect. It could just be that the contacts were out of place for me, because I could make out a very tiny halo around my eyes. Other than that, the design is pretty natural. The gradient effect they have doesn't go from a super contrasting colour to blue, but blue and outwards. So far, only one person has noticed that my eyes were coloured - and that was only because we were having a face to face conversation. On lighter coloured eyes, the design will be more noticeable (Obviously) but for dark coloured...

Enlargement
Like I've stressed before, these contacts are natural. They are perfect for everyday wear! There is no limbal ring, so the enlargement is very minimal. They are very close to my natural eye size, so it does not give me a dolly effect.

Comfort
I guess my eyes are a bit drier than others, because I had to reapply contact solution to my eyes...

Photos

Flash

Taken in normal lighting, i.e. sunlight through window. xD;;.

Overall
Overall, I would recommend these contacts for anyone who wants an every day pair of lenses that aren't "in your face" noticeable.

Magic of Makeup

I'm a plain person. Many people don't notice me, even when I stand right next to them. Aha, I know I've scared my teacher and my friends countless times because of that. You know those extreme before and after photos that are online? Honestly, I believed that most of them were fake or the before photo was photoshopped to oblivion in order to not look like the after photo. I... Was a bit wrong in that assumption.

Before I get into the photos, I'll just say this - I'm a lazy person. The main reason why I don't wear makeup on a daily basis is because I just can't force myself to wake up earlier in order to fit that into my schedule before school. xDD;. There are occasions when I go out to wear it though~

Earlier today, instead of doing my homework, I decided to put makeup on only half of my face in order to see the change. And well... You be the judge on how drastic it is. : ). I showed my Grandmother pictures of it, and although I only told her I put makeup on, not implying how little or how much I really wore, she was under the assumption of it being on my nose. I found it interesting that by only retaining that small bit of information of the makeup being on my eyes, lips, and cheeks, I was able to create an impression of wearing more than I was actually~

Half face!

Later on, I ended up adding makeup to both sides of my face.

Honestly, makeup is a very powerful thing - at least in my opinion. It's also very time consuming. LOL. I don't know how the girls at my school, who literally cake makeup onto their face, do this every day... OTL.